Letter 68 – Buried in My Bones
Dear Garrett,
The days immediately following the day of your death are not any that I want to speak of. They are days I have no wish to remember, and those days are buried in my bones.
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Letter 28 – Death Culture
Dear Garrett, I wish I had a death culture to attach myself to. It seems like so many of us do not have a death culture in our society. This makes it hard for those of us who are grieving to be ok with acknowledging our loss. It would be great if we had…
Letter 10 – The Gathering
Hi, bud. The last thing I wanted was to have a funeral. And I didn’t, not really. At first, I didn’t want to do anything. I was in shock. I couldn’t absorb the fact that you were dead. It still comes up, a little wail in my mind that says, how can this be?…
Letter 14 – Third Grade Phone Calls
Garrett, You were in third grade when problems with school started resulting in phone calls to home, and meetings with teachers. You were frustrating for them. You weren’t a bad kid. You were never mean, never malicious. You never hurt anyone. You were big, in your personality. You were this big, big energy that…
Letter 8 – This House
Garrett, This house, that I really wanted you to have. This house, where I thought we would have the chance to remake ourselves. This house, that you never moved into. I really wanted you to be here, where we could figure out what was going to happen, after. After you went to rehab. After…
Letter 43 – A Process of Slow Articulation
Hi, Garrett, I write these letters, and it is a process of slow articulation. I identify the thoughts and feelings about our relationship that I need to bring to the surface and examine. I identify them and know that I need to look at them, one by one, and say, this is what I know…
Letter 58 – Kittens
Garrett, We got kittens. They are so fun. They remind me that I can love. That I can love something new. They are sweet and soft. And they make me laugh. I didn’t think I could take on kittens when Genevieve asked for them. I’m too broken to do this, I thought to myself…
