Hi, Garrett.
My counselor tells me that I need to find a way to go towards love. That there is love that you have to give, that you still are able to share with me. She is telling me that you are out there. Are you there?
Dear Garrett, I don’t look back on your childhood and think to myself, if only I had done that, or if only I had decided on this instead of that, things might have turned out differently. I don’t do that, because I know I loved you, and that you had a wonderful childhood in…
Dear Garrett, I feel like I know you and that I don’t. I feel like I was very close to you, but maybe I wasn’t at all. I know that you were one of the loves of my life. I don’t know if I was yours, but I know you loved me. I wasn’t…
Garrett, This house, that I really wanted you to have. This house, where I thought we would have the chance to remake ourselves. This house, that you never moved into. I really wanted you to be here, where we could figure out what was going to happen, after. After you went to rehab. After…
Dear Garrett, I wish I had a death culture to attach myself to. It seems like so many of us do not have a death culture in our society. This makes it hard for those of us who are grieving to be ok with acknowledging our loss. It would be great if we had…
Garrett, It was late summer after you died when I got sick. I was sick in a way that I hadn’t experienced before. My body felt like it was a thousand years old. I slept for ten hours, took a four-hour nap, and then went to bed early. I could feel myself slowing down…
Dear Garrett, I feel that I am winding down, but there a few things left I want to say. This is for your friends. Jonathan. Thank you. You were there until almost the end. I know that you cared. I appreciate that you were there for as long as you could be. Thank you,…
