Hi, Garrett.
My counselor tells me that I need to find a way to go towards love. That there is love that you have to give, that you still are able to share with me. She is telling me that you are out there. Are you there?
Dear Garrett, When Genevieve referred to herself the other day as an only child, I was stunned. It never occurred to me that she would see herself as an only child after you died. We were sitting in a restaurant, the two of us. Just chatting about not much of anything. She was talking…
Hi, Garrett, Guests. I think it was a week after you died that my mother came. Your Oma. She loved you, Garrett. Of that I have no doubt. She came and stayed with us for a week. I didn’t have anywhere for her to sleep. I couldn’t imagine putting her in your room, so…
Beautiful Child, One of the hardest things about being your parent was trying to get you to do things that you didn’t want to do. It was hard to guide you into being responsible or accountable for anything. You wouldn’t do it. You resisted, hard. I always felt that you wanted all the freedoms…
Dear Garrett, Whenever I see Jack in the Library, it tugs. Just a little. The first time was the hardest. You grew up together. You, Jack and Paul. Had countless sleepovers and played in the street all day. Parents would come out to supervise, and we’d visit while we watched over you. I thought…
Dear Garrett, Your dog is the best animal ever. In the days after your death, I know he had to be missing you. And the house was heavy with grief. I don’t know how many months it was that I cried with sound. Out loud. I’m not usually an out loud kind of crier….
Dear Garrett, I better understand now the people whose comments I saw online that said, It’s been years and I feel like this happened only yesterday. I understand now more than I did before. Before, when everything was new, I was scared by those words. I didn’t want to be stuck feeling the way I felt…
