Garrett,
I can’t turn my mind to any memories that I have of you. I just can’t. It’s overwhelmingly hard to try to recall a full memory. What I do have are tiny, little, snippets of memories. They flash across my mind and then they’re gone. Just enough to see you and then they disappear.
It’s too much. Too painful.
Dear Garrett, I better understand now the people whose comments I saw online that said, It’s been years and I feel like this happened only yesterday. I understand now more than I did before. Before, when everything was new, I was scared by those words. I didn’t want to be stuck feeling the way I felt…
Garrett, I was shocked when I heard your voice in my voice the other day. I was talking to Koda. Being affectionate and feeling a lot of love towards this dog. I was talking to him, telling him something like what a good boy he was, when it was your voice I heard, in…
To those who have joined me on this journey, Thank you for walking with me through the first year. Start at the Beginning
Dear Garrett, There are two pictures hanging on the walls of our new house that I want to speak of. Two large, framed pictures that I gave to you when you were younger. First, is the photo of the big blue wave that I gave to you on your sixteenth birthday. I saw this…
Garrett, One the places where you felt at home was at Sheila’s ranch. If we could have moved you there, we would have. You loved horses. From an early age you wanted to learn how to ride. I sought out different camps for you and one day, I came across the website for Sheila’s…
Dear Garrett, The question I always circle back around to, that I can’t get over, that I can’t think my way through, is how could I not have prevented your death? How could I not have prevented it? As a mother, I only have one job – to prevent my children from coming to…
